he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!