I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
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3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
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also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.