Plan B is the new Plan A
a bad idea.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
a search helicopter?!
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public