Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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