I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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