I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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