So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize