Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.