ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course