Having a random hookup so left but love u
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize