Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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