Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
