Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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