yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
