addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
