let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My cat gives me a boner
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
