So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
