Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
this is an emotional support booty call
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
