A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
