my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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