Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
