No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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