Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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