Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you would pick up someone in the library
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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