I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
