It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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