Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
