I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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