Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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