physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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