And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize