needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
