sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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