Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
