Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I hope mine doesn't look like that
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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