Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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