Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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