There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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