u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
