woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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