hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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