32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
