I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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