I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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