I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
