nut hugger
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Pooping to opera.
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