Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We have started to decorate penises.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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