I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
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I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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