therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize