Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
