know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize