we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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