you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize