i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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