Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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