Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
