Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Randomize
