I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
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