Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
