I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
