How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
if only i could text you this smell
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
